Dear Felix,

I find it rude and intoxicating that Doug "Johnny" Strandler implied that I
am still alive living in Zar SIS ipan pleasure (Oops, I guess I added that
second part, but it's true).   I am Guy Johnson and I am dead.

With tremendous exaggeration to the above, aforementioned fact, I would still
like to continue to receive my bi-daily, monthly subscription every other
week of the Daily Weekly.  It is a very good "paper" and makes a good chaser
to Zarsisilube Bacon Lube Motor Treatment (TM) the tasty breakfast motor
treatment with 9 essential vitamins and minerals.

Look for the new and improved Zarsisipan NUTTY NUT flavor, in stores soon.
NUTTY NUT, hey this time we got the color right!* (TM)  NUTTY NUT, it 
tastes like creamy delicious peanut butter.**

Enclosed you will find the free sample that you requested at the Daily
Weekly, pass the fantastically delectable, new Zarsisipan flavor NUTTY NUT
around the office and enjoy.

Sincerely,

McGuy McJohnson


* If nuts are mauve, we got it right.  Damn it!

** Who are we kidding, it could taste like cow dung (*^) and you 
damn fools would still eat it. You're all addicted!!!!!

(*^) It does taste like cow dung.