Facts, shmacts!

To: Guy Johnson
    Senior VP Zartocksic Industries

Mr. Johnson.  As to your disgust and repulsion, I offer no apologies
either implied or expressed.  Your product (Zarsisipan) is unsafe for any
market foreign or domestic.  Variations on the flavor, texture, or color
offer no improvment or reduction of the side effects I mentioned in my
previous correspondence.  Color correctness also fails to be a factor in
considering the "safety" of your product.  Your cleverly worded
disclaimers fail to relieve you of liability.  And the fact that your
researchers came up empty handed just reinforces my position.

Secondly, there were no aquatic adventures involved in our discovery
regarding the shrinkage problem associated with Zarsisipan.  You can make
any claim you like about cold weather or Mother Nature's cruel sense of
humor - and I suspect there is something here that really hits home with
you, eh Mr. Johnson?

And I would feed my children a strict diet of Zarsisilube Baconlube Motor
Treatment for weeks before I'd let them anywhere near your "three
delicious flavors"!

However, I do feel I must compliment your marketing team on their catchy
and entertaining name concepts.  Wonderful!

In conclusion, I've decided to increase my order of Zarsisipan to 12
cases, next day air if possible. 

Mr. Shlacappigus
V.P.  Ingosplat Technologies

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